My Hair Journey

It was everywhere; commercials, billboards, media, completely inescapable. Relaxed hair was the new expectation. Growing up, being natural wasn't acceptable. To be pretty "for a black girl" your hair needed the be long and straight. With media in mind, I got my first relaxer when at nine. I was saying bye to my puff balls and bi-weekly hair appointments. Then saying hello to my new bone straight hair. Even though I hated change this was one that I loved. If I'm being honest, I don’t remember much from those days. Although I can say I no longer have to cringe over freezing cold gel as it gets brushed through my hair. Another thing I know for a fact is that I would always flip my hair, you know like the girls on tv? About a month of having my straightened hair, I ended up with bangs. While other kids were trying to avoid them, I wanted them. Now I have to say, they were the only thing I've missed about my relaxed hair. Long story short, I went through the shenanigans of chemical and heat damage for quite some time.

I got braids every once in a while and hated them, honestly, I still do. I can’t get over the fact of my thighs sticking to a random chair for hours so my hair can get ripped from my scalp. Everyone always says, “Well if it hurt so bad, why didn’t you tell them to stop being so rough?” In reality, that never played out well for me. No matter how much I asked them to be a little bit more gentle or jumped in that seat they always acted so oblivious. Other than that, I can still think of a couple more reasons on why I grew such a hatred towards braids. One being, not that it can’t happen to anyone, but as a worker was washing my hair she somehow managed to get shampoo in my eye. Years later I'm still trying to figure how it happened. My head laid back in the sink, yet there was shampoo burning my eye. I can’t lie I have had a couple incidents, emphasis on a couple, where I had gotten shampoo in my eye. Anyways back to the story, so the lady gets the shampoo in my eye and I start crying. What else can you expect? It wasn't like she was using Johnson & Johnson. Of course my mom was around the corner, which I assume the lady knew so she starts trying to consult me. Unfortunately, it didn't work so my mom ended up washing my hair. After that experience, I'm not sure if I ever went back. The other reason I hate getting my hair braided is that the salons are typically dirty. If I'm being honest I've only had that problem at one place, but that doesn’t change anything.

After those experiences, I went back to my hair, my severely unhealthy hair. I got it done about three times a year; for the 4th of July, the first day of school, and Thanksgiving. Notice I would get it done for holidays with family gatherings. Reason being is some parts of my family are huge on appearances. I never actually looked a hot mess, but hey we all have a family like that. Every year through high school, I was always slightly changing something about myself. Freshman year I decided to be a vegetarian, sophomore year I got my cartilage pierced, and junior year I started my new hair journey. One tip I have when dealing with a family similar to mine is to prepare for anything they'll throw at you. I can't promise you'll avoid curveballs, because you won't, but it's a step. Back then little did I know, despite my tiny changes throughout the few years, I was heading for a bigger one soon.

When junior year came I decided to try and get to know myself. Yes, I know, “I’m only a teen, what do I know?” Sadly, some adults think like that and that trying to find yourself is unnecessary in high school. Truth be told, getting lost in the wrong crowd doesn't take much. Going through all the confusion is part of the process of finding yourself and the attempt is worth it. After three years of trying to discover myself, I finally found something. Summer of 2016 as I was watching random YouTube videos, I realized natural hair is a beautiful thing. After watching only a few of these natural hair videos I decided I want my hair to be like theirs. I got tired of my damaged, lifeless limp hair. A couple of days after thinking about my choice, I talked to my mom about my thoughts and she was all for it. Now that I look back, I’m not sure why. It could have been because she was actually happy or because she knew she'll never have to do my hair again. Either way, that night I started my new journey. From that day forth, my hair was always in a braid out (braiding your hair just to unbraid it later for definition). As I remince my braid outs were terrible, but I appreciate them. About 4-5 months into my happy journey took a different course. The breakage I was experience was something else. My not so successful braid outs started becoming even more unsuccessful. All this led to was my new signature style, two braids into a tiny low bun. Not too long after I started experimenting with some other bun styles. Then I decided I was ready for a completely new look.

In May of 2017, I finally did my big chop (cut off all my relaxed ends)! Yep, I sat on the floor in front of my mirror one night with a pair of scissors, a jar of Eco Styler, and started snipping. I know that isn't the ideal approach for most people, but in my defense it turned out nice, if I say so myself. Also, I watched tons of videos beforehand. My experience was kind of funny because the original plan was to go to a salon and get a tapered cut, but that took too long. A couple days before cutting my hair, I asked my mom for some tips on cutting my hair and used them. Yet she didn't know I used her tips until she came home from work the following day.

After I cut my hair I FELL IN LOVE. It took a couple days to get used to, not because of the look but rather because I downplayed the maintenance. My mom had warned me that it would be a lot of work, but this was more than I expected. After the cut I was washing my hair once of twice a week due to product buildup,. Then that caused me to have to redo my hair all the time and spend tons of money on products that worked for me. On the bright side, I didn't have to deal with the dilemma of working with two different textures or breakage. While I was starting to live my best life, everyone else missed my old “healthy” hair. Besides spending the money, the other slight regret was having to ask to EVERYONE about why I cut my hair. I understand people got attached to my hair, at the same time I wanted something different for MY hair. I wanted to experience MY hair. I wanted MY hair to truly be healthy. Every time I answered with those responses people were never satisfied. It was always, “Your hair was healthy when it was relaxed.” Or “But, people straighten their hair so it’s easier to deal with.” Or the big finale “Well I miss your other hair.” I can’t lie it did hurt to hear certain responses from certain people, but at the end of the day, it was too late to turn back. Every now and then I'd always get asked, "Do you want to get braids?" regardless of my little rant above. Now here I am 15 months later, proud and more confident in myself than ever.